Money and relationships break down the same way every time: two people who never had the conversation discover they are not on the same page and by then it has been years. Dr. Laurie Betito says talking about money carries the same taboo as talking about sex and most couples treat it the same way, by avoiding it until they cannot.

The Boat He Bought Without Asking

A man bought a boat. Did not mention it. His wife is a conservative spender. He is impulsive. That one purchase forced the first real financial conversation they had ever had. Dr. Laurie Betito says money is a proxy for identity, security, and power, and when one partner controls the finances down to the coffee on the way to work, that is not frugality. That is financial abuse. Death by a thousand cuts is a real thing and it usually starts with something that costs a dollar twenty-five.

What to Say Before the Legally Binding Part

For couples about to get married, Dr. Laurie Betito has one word: curiosity. How did your family handle money? Are you a saver or a spender? What do we do with the wedding gift money? These questions feel small. The ones that go unasked become the source of the resentment that ends long-term relationships years later.

Topics: money and relationships, financial compatibility couples, financial control abuse, talking about money before marriage, death by a thousand cuts resentment

GUEST: Dr. Laurie Betito | drlaurie.com

Originally aired on2026-03-26