Everyone has a thing. The question is when to show it to someone new, and Tony Tedesco and Jen Kirsch do not entirely agree on the answer.

Tony Tedesco’s framework is signal, not data: hint at the thing without diving into every detail, and let emotional safety build before the full reveal. He makes the case that if your weird actually scares someone off, you have saved yourself a lot of time. The right person does not just tolerate your quirks. They lean into them, or at least show up for them.

Jen Kirsch says let it come up naturally and own it when it does. Overcorrecting or hiding something that surfaces organically creates a problem down the road because when it comes out later, the question becomes what else you were not saying. Both agree a partner who mocks what they once found endearing is a red flag worth naming.

Topics: dating quirks, freak flag, relationship authenticity, dating advice, niche interests dating

Originally aired on2026-05-04