Choosing hope sounds simple until you’re trapped in a sinking car. You’re underwater. The vehicle is going down. You have seconds to get yourself out or die here. You make it to the surface. A stranger pulls you the rest of the way. Thirty years later, a Navy SEAL tells you something nobody ever said: you put yourself in a position to be saveable. That reframe changes everything about what hope actually means.

Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe spent 30 years studying what happened after that accident. The discovery: hope isn’t genetic luck. It’s a practice. People who stay hope-filled have habits, rituals, protocols that keep them forward-facing even when nothing looks okay. The difference between hope and optimism? Optimism attaches to outcomes (I hope I get the job). Hope trusts the process (I’m doing my part, it’ll figure itself out). Commander Mark Devine’s reframe after hearing her story: you didn’t just survive, you put yourself in a position to be saveable.

The artificial urgency you create isn’t real. Hedonic adaptation means you’re wired to always want more, to chase the next thing, but slowing down reveals what actually matters. Fresh French fries. A good cup of coffee. The question that changes your morning: what can I be excited about today? Hope becomes accessible when you stop making it complicated and start making it a practice.

Topics: choosing hope, hope as a practice, resiliency habits, hedonic adaptation, overcoming artificial urgency

GUEST: Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe | @‌dr_robynehd | drrobyne.ca/hope

Originally aired on2026-01-27