Love as a verb is not a metaphor. According to Dr. Laurie Betito, it is the only definition that actually sustains a relationship. Saying I love you is easy. The actions behind it, reliability, consistency, listening, showing up during the hard moments, are what create emotional safety and trust over time.

When Feeling In Love Becomes I Love
Being in love is fueled by novelty and dopamine. It is obsessive, exhilarating, and by design, temporary. Dr. Betito argues that the real work begins when that intensity fades and couples face a choice: mistake the shift for the end, or understand it as the beginning of something deeper. Attachment styles, what partners need to feel loved, and whether those needs can be negotiated all come into play here.

Participate, Presence, and Thirty Years of Proof
The conversation closes with one word that reframes the whole thing: participate. Dr. Betito draws on more than thirty years of her own marriage to make the case that love is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose, show up for, and keep choosing.

Topics: love as a verb, relationship advice, attachment styles, falling out of love, long term relationships

GUEST: Dr. Laurie Betito | drlaurie.com

Originally aired on2026-05-29